Dilemma

Here's what half of ColumnShift Media has been doing instead of holding up his end of the bargain and actually writing some stories to accompany the photoshoots we've done recently.

I stand by my decision - She's nearly finished anyway, and working on my bike helps me gather anecdotes for upcoming work. Research, if you will...

... Does that make it tax deductible? I'll call an accountant as soon as I've written another thousand words... And rebuilt the carbies...

Work in Progress

The only problem with this freelance gig is the early starts. Oh, and also that we can't make enough money to quit our day jobs.

Other than that it's fantastic - you get to go to cool places, meet great people and check out interesting cars. All three happened today, with an early morning photoshoot on top of Mt Coot-tha in Brisbane.

We're really grateful to all the owners and friends who take the time and effort to get their cars spotless and then spend hours of their weekend hanging around with us answering my questions and moving the car 3 degrees east for Dan's perfect shot.

Spending this morning shooting Ash's Holden and hearing his story was great fun, and it sounds like he might have some old bikes we need to check out in the future. Dan is currently locked down in the lab processing shots while I try to write a few words that do the story justice.

Dan often gets asked what camera gear he uses, how he composes, how he processes shots. It's all Greek to me, but I can report that I took this photo with my beaten-up, ratrod Blackberry, using the lift-phone-and-click technique. I think it captures the moment though.

NH

Big

Of all the sounds that have stuck with me over the years, the sound of a big-block engine from a long way away will always make me smile.

I've ridden in all sorts of big-cube cars over the years, from a screaming twin-carb 454 powered ute to slow, smooth cruisers. They all have one thing in common: the engine note that comes up through your feet, then in to your soul.

Of all of them, my favourite was Damien Nelms' 455ci Oldsmobile Cutlass. Following it in a Nissan Micra, the noise from the three-inch pipes and the way it pushed the back tyres around did something to me that I might never recover from. The body helped - if the coke-bottle hips on that thing don't make you swoon, you're clinically dead.

Dan recently unearthed some spare photos from the shoot we did for Gasoline. Enjoy - I did. The moody way these photos are processed suits the car perfectly - I particularly love the shot of the fuel pressure gauge, the aged photo makes it look purposeful, like something peeking from under the engine cowl of a Spitfire.

Learner Drivers

It's probably safe to assume that everyone who reads this quaint little website drives a car, or something similar. It would also be safe to assume that you would have been taught how to drive by someone at some stage or another.

Everyone from Dick Johnson to Cranky Grandpa down the street would have been taught to drive. Maybe it was your father, your grandma, or your Drill Sargent while you were in 'Nam. More commonly these days, it is usually a State Certified Driving Instructor, which is probably the best way to go if learning how to drive safely is a priority.

Most commonly, however, it's your parents who strap you into the drivers seat and give you brief, well meaning instructions on how to propel a huge hunk of metal down the road. However, unless your father is Michael Schumacher or your mother Vicky Butler-Henderson, chances are their bad habits on the road are being passed on to the learning driver, which safer roads this does not make.

When I was learning to drive on the road, there wasn't a driving school that I could attend, so I did the best I could, until I could get to the big smoke to attend a Defensive Driving Course, which I think make me a ten times more competent driver on the road. I even spent a brief amount of time working at a Defensive Driving company, delivering the very same courses. If you are thinking that these courses are for reformed drunk drivers or school kids, you'd be wrong. Sure, the fundamentals are there, but once you sink you teeth into it, you will soon realise that these courses are anything but boring.

I first drove a car when I was 9 years old, on the Common Land a few kays outside of Goondiwindi, behind the wheel of Dad's three-on-the-tree Kingswood ute. Ever Sunday after moving the lawns, we'd go for a swim in the river and I'd get to drive there and back (not on the gazetted roads of course!). Further education regarding driving came from my late Pop, who took me out to the forestry behind Woodford to drive his early seventies FJ LandCruiser ute (or Nan's awesome 5 speed Sigma wagon).

These early beginnings probably didn't make me a better driver, and nor did the informal training I received during my L Plate phase allow me to win any driving awards. I can, however, confidently say that the formal driving training I received in the form of the various driving courses over the last eight years most certainly did.

So get out there, book yourself into one of the many accredited Defensive Driving courses around Australia and allow yourself to learn a few things about how to drive competently - who knows, you might even have some fun!

Daniel

A young Daniel and Bingo the dog hanging out in the above mentioned Cruiser ute

None of these courses taught me how to do a skid, or even condoned doing them, but skids are cool, okay??!!

More Nervous Breakdown

Well, the breakdown photoshoot last night went excellently, and we've got the perfect shot.

Overnight, CSM correspondent Spiro sent through a further photo from 2001's Wounded Lamborghini saga. It's embarassing enough that I am duty bound to share it with automotive fans more broadly:

Note the ever-reliable Falcon in the background. Try not to note the shirt.

Nervous Breakdown

Halfway through a terrible week at my day job, but that's OK because we're off to do a photoshoot for an upcoming CSM article tonight.

The article talks about breakdowns, although hopefully not my nervous one.

My favourite breakdown story was part of a sorry saga partly illustrated below. Over the years, hundreds of people have accused me of faking this photo of my old Falcon, but I can assure you it's all too real...

Cover Story

Leafing through Wheels magazine in the QANTAS Club on the weekend, I saw an ad for a website where you can buy an official, framed print of any Wheels cover since '54. Ideal birthday gift, blah.

I was actually quite excited to look up the website and see what was in the automotive news in the month of my birth. Surely it'd be something cool - even my mum drove a 5-speed, turbo car back then.

Not so. The cover of the Wheels issue that my father could've been flicking through in the Alliance Hotel while waiting for news of my birth was a major let down - a test drive of the awful new MR2 and a comparison of people movers.

I went in search of better examples. The issue commemorating Daniel's birth, predictably, was awesome: WE DRIVE THE '86 COMMODORE, with a full-page, front-on shot of a champagne VL looking like an escaped NASCAR.

The issue on stands the month the authorities relented and licenced me to drive was slightly more appropriate - the brand new Holden Monaro features, with a small photo of Tickford's 347ci TS50. Hot cars, even though they were out of my price range.

Of course, once again Daniel's was better - a comparison of the new FPV GT and the HSV GTS, with an accompanying comparison of the '71 Falcon GT and the GTS Monaro. I bet a copy of this issue was on the passenger seat of his Telstar as he did skids throughout western QLD.

What was the cover story in your big year? Post up comments!

http://www.mycoverstory.com.au/

NH

Vale

What an awful week in motorsport. Indy Car driver Dan Wheldon should have been driving a V8 Supercar at the Gold Coast this weekend, but instead we saw his coffin carried out of a chapel in Florida.

Watching this on the news last night, I talked to a friend who isn't in to motorsport how rare a fatal accident is these days. As the words came out of my mouth, the broadcast switched to that terrible image of Marco Simoncelli lying motionless on the MotoGP track.

I hadn't heard of Dan Wheldon, but I've only just read Matt Oxley's interview of Simoncelli in Bike magazine. He was a young man with a zest for life and a great attitude to being at the pinnacle of two-wheel racing.

We sit in grandstands or in the forest or on the couch every weekend cheering these men and women on, hoping for a thrilling incident or a big save without a thought for the people that risk their lives to entertain us.

If motor racing was safe or easy, no one would do it and no one would watch it. But this really does give us a moment to pause and think.

Upcoming works

Nick and I have a few things in the pipeline at the moment - on both two and four wheels. I spent the afternoon taking some happy snaps for something of the two wheeled variety.

Won't reveal the particulars as of yet, but here's a quick teaser pic -

Stay tuned!!!

Daniel

Fame

Spent all of yesterday on a film shoot, in charge of the cars. Can't say it was the best experience of my entire life. I spent quite a bit of the day sleeping, waiting for something to happen - bench seats prove their worth once again - but I've written an interesting story that I hope a magazine will pick up and Dan got some great shots...

We've also had an interesting offer of regular work that we really need to get our heads around. Exciting times!

Missed Shift

You know the feeling - You're zinging up to 5200rpm, you dip the clutch, a lightening fast hand pushes through the dogleg from second to third and...

crunch

That's kinda what CSMedia has felt like lately. Dan and I have both been busy with work and travel, and the rare moments we have to do interviews and shoots have been plagued by scheduling dramas and poor weather. We're also facing living in our cars if the much-delayed pay for a few articles doesn't come through soon!

Never fear - we're still in the game, with an event report and a long-anticipated Katana photoshoot planned for this weekend, a catch up with a Kingswood driver in the next few weeks and the SuperFalcon article still in the works. I figure that some of these machines have waited 40 years for their moment in the sun - they can last a few more weeks.

We may even have some special reports from our European correspondent on the way - he's spent weeks thrashing everything from Fiat panel vans to Ferraris and other things we can't mention on a family website, all under the clever guise of a romantic getaway with his (now) fiance.

ColumnShifters seeking spousal approval for motorsport tours of foreign lands have much to learn from this man, so stay tuned.

Meanwhile, keep dodging the rainstorms and enjoy the (intermittent) cruising weather!

In The Works...

What's green and white, 40 years old and does 9,600rpm down Conrod Straight?

We're off to Buderim this weekend to find out more, and we can't wait. The magazine we're doing the article has asked for driving shots too. I've got my fireproof undies and CAMS licence packed, but I don't hold out much hope - The car is worth (significantly) more than my house.

Stay tuned for more!

World's Fastest FJ

Exciting news - Another ColumnShift article is out in Australian Classic Car this week.

Buy it immediately!

Salt

Way back in '84, the big news in motorcycling was the first 150mph superbike. 6 years in development to replace the ageing Z1, the Kawasaki GPZ900R was a 16-valve, 4 cylinder weapon pumping out 115hp at 9,500rpm.

That was 27 years ago now, and times have changed. Even entry-level sportsbikes will do that kind of speed, most often on the back wheel in school zones.

But wind back the clock the same 27 years from the release of the GPZ and things were very different. In 1957, proper bikes were made in factories in England by men in dust coats and flat hats.

Single cylinder bikes were the order of the day, with parallel twins for the real speed freaks. A 110mph, 500cc BSA Gold Star was the king of the road and cafe.

The Velocette Venom was nearly as fast, 34hp taking it to 100mph flat-out in fourth. Which was about as quick as you'd want to go on a bike with drum brakes the size of a bottle cap.

But some people just have a top-speed itch.

ColumnShift Media has just heard that a Queensland-prepared, single-cylinder Velocette has just broken the streamlined 500cc land speed record on the Bonneville salt flats, and may top 150mph if the wind is favourable today.

The idea of doing that speed sprawled over a faired 50's bike gives me goosebumps: all raspy induction and booming exhaust, weaving around as the wind changes. It's the stuff of dreams.

We need to talk to these guys.